I'm sure hardly anyone even remembers who I am after my going on two year hiatus. I've been lurking about, though never logging on. I look at art every once in a while, yes. I enjoy checking up on my cousin and a few old friends, but DA has completely lost its meaning to me, and it makes me sick to my stomach each time I come back. There are so many fights, arguments and ridiculous accusations that fly about the horse-art community. The sad thing is, is that I have lost all desire to draw because of this. How often is it now that I actually purposefully sit down to draw a horse? Let's see. . . the last time I really tried was nearly three months ago now. The last thing I'm asking for here is pity or anything of that sort. I don't want it ya'll. All I can say is that my life has improved so much since I left this community. Though I do miss my friends dearly <3 I've been keeping an eye on your work, don't worry (; Anyways, I do not think that I will ever be making a DA comeback, and in the end, I may wind up deactivating my account entirely. To everyone that I have owed art for who knows how long, I sincerely apologize to all of you. I will not be able to deliver. Artistic inspiration comes to me in rare, far between spurts that never develop into anything anymore.
When I left DA in May of 2012, I was probably at my all-time low. I was a complete wreck emotionally and physically. I literally made myself physically sick because of fear, pain, self-doubt, and worry. I lost 30 pounds in a month, and hardly ate because everything seemed to make me sick and my best friend had very well stabbed me in the back. Honestly, things only started to look up after I secluded myself from the internet and turned my focus back on the Lord. My life that summer and in the last nine months of 2013 has been tried in so many ways, and I have grown as a person, learning from my mistakes, persevering through family trials, and overall, developing into the woman God made me to be. He supported me when I was down and loves me for who I am. He loves me through my mistakes. He loves me though I have sinned. He loves me though I will continue to falter and fall short. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. My life is now in His hands, and I find myself no longer worrying, no longer scared or depressed. I owe much to my Lord and Savior.
To all of my friends: I am sincerely sorry that I have not spoken with you, and it breaks my heart to think that we may never speak again. Thank all of you for the loving support, encouragement, comments, critiques, and just everything you have given me in the last 4-5 years of my internet existence. I owe you all lots <3 To all of you, I say this:
You are beautiful people and you should never stop being you. You have all left an impression on me, and I will never forget all of the good times we had together over these years on iScribble, in role plays, or just through talking. Thank you, so, so much. <3
And everyone, please don't leave comments trying to change my mind. I am a rather stubborn individual, but also, I believe this is for my benefit. This journal gives me final closure and rest of everything that has happened on this website. I have moved onto the next stage of my life, and DA is now in my past.
God bless all of you lovely people and my fondest farewells,